It is often believed that human being is a social animal which implies that we are dependent on one another for survival. This dependency leads to socialization. Some are great at socialization whereas some face difficulty at it because of shyness. Shyness is an emotion which drives nervousness and timidity making a person self-conscious. It is the uneasiness one feels while being asked to enter a room filled with people staring at him. Shyness can be appeared on a person’s body in the form of blushing, shaking and being unable to speak.

It is common in people and especially students. Shy people hesitate to hang out with friends. They wouldn’t prefer to go to a party rather they’d enjoy watching a movie peacefully at home. They wouldn’t bid for a group project because it takes them a great deal of time to be comfortable around others and in working with them. These people are even avoided and mistreated for their inability to being a social bird.

Shyness is antonymous of confidence and it’s considered a flaw in the personality. In our generation, lack of confidence or shyness is becoming a huge barrier in front of great career opportunities. People who are talented and capable of performing the job meticulously, sometimes struggle with shyness. As a personality development trainer, I have been frequently asked the ways to become confident. Confidence is the key to the success. Confidence is just like any other skill which we can learn to develop. Most of the people who are not even shy tend to show lack of confidence during special tasks like public speaking, interviews, group discussion, group projects and stage performances. Such kind of nervousness is obvious but if you are facing trouble in talking to even your closed ones because you are afraid of being judged and criticized, then you need improvements in your personality.

To tackle the greatest problem faced by people about their personality, first, we need to identify the root causes behind shyness or lack of confidence. There can be several factors attributed to shyness.

Hereditary: 

Genetics is a big contributor to your personality. The way you behave and act may have been drawn to you from your parents and to them from your ancestors. If you are shy and prefer hiding behind the curtains when guests visit your home, chances are that you have gained this hesitation as a heritage from your parents. In this case, when you are naturally shy, your genes are responsible for your personality. Yet it doesn’t mean that you cannot overcome shyness.

Environment:

Another pivotal contributor to your personality is the environment. Your surroundings decide the way you thrive. The nature-nurture influence is apparent here. People living in cities are usually outspoken, on the other hand, people from rural areas tend to get intimidated easily. In a family environment where one’s decision is respected and participation in decision making is encouraged, shyness is rarely found. Children adapt to the environment where they live. Hence, shyness is also linked to the atmosphere or environment you have spent your childhood in.

Education:

Modern education system focuses on personality development programs. But not all schools or areas are facilitated with such programs. Consequently, the students these schools produce often lack personality traits like confidence.

Traumatic event:

If a person has experienced anything traumatic in his lifetime, this may result in making him under-confident and skeptical. Skepticism is also linked with shyness. People who have lost their loved one recently, or went through any failure show signs of a great loss of confidence and trust in life.

Techniques to overcome shyness and become more confident:

If you think shyness has been that one reason that made you suffer through failures, then adhere to these following ways/ techniques to become more confident in life.

Read:

Cultivating a habit of reading works wonders. Reading would help you in keeping in touch with recent updates and other information as well. A mind that knows can speak well. If you feel shy because you have apprehensions about the knowledge you have about a particular topic, then read often and you’ll get enough information to at least form a view about it. Read newspaper, novels, autobiographies, magazines and blogs to enhance your insight. And you’ll never back off from group discussions and interviews. Reading will also help in improving your communication skills which usually people face challenges with and then it becomes one of the reasons for shyness or lack of confidence.

“Confidence comes from hours and days and weeks and years of constant work & dedication.”– Robert Staubach

Watch videos and Imitate:

Watch videos of people performing public speaking. Moreover, watching them is not enough, you need to observe how they talk so confidently. The answers you will find would be that they talk about what they know and believe. Expressing your heart is the key to confidence. Embracing your own perspective and learning to handle mistakes is essential to develop confidence. You can also imitate the way they speak in videos.

“Get more confidence by doing things that excite and frighten you.”– Jessica Williams

Use social media:

Interaction and engagement with people often require you to be at the front. Social media is brilliantly helpful in this scenario for shy people. You can share your views and you don’t even have to show your face to the public. It’s easy to engage with people on such platforms and learn from them. You can use technology to learn various skills.

“For me, so far, confidence has been a journey, not a destination.”– Jessica Williams

Spend some time with quality-people:

Challenge yourself to invest some time with quality-people even if you do not prefer hanging around with people much. These people can be your close friends, mentors, familiars or students. These people should be the ones who respect your opinions and trust your decisions. Such people who can bring constructive criticism and teach you without demotivating you. Make a list of such people and start sharing your thoughts with them, a balanced sharing of thoughts brings positivity and helps in increasing self-esteem.

“Doubt can motivate you, so don’t be afraid of it. Confidence and doubt are at two ends of the scale, and you need both. They balance each other out.”– Barbra Streisand

Know yourself and Accept yourself: 

You cannot accept yourself if you don’t even know yourself. Firstly, list down the characteristics that make you who you are and then identify what are the ones that weigh your confidence down. Self-analysis techniques can be used to know yourself. Lastly, acceptance of yourself will need an optimistic view of yourself where you are aware of your flaws, imperfections, mistakes and wrongs and also, you’re ready to bring improvement therein. Self-acceptance also implies not comparing yourself with others.

“Confidence is when you believe in yourself and your abilities, arrogance is when you think you are better than others and act accordingly.”– Stewart Stafford

Last but not the least, pretend to be confident:

Overcoming shyness is overcoming your insecurities and trusting in your abilities. Trust and assurance are long paths to travel. To prepare yourself to walk these paths, you need to pretend every day that you are closer by each step. To understand this, let me tell you that the ways you speak show your confidence more than what you speak. So, learn the ways which help you in appearing confident. Meditate to control extraordinary shivering and try mirror-talking for self-preparedness. Because “pretending to be confident is being confident.”