How Ego Turned To Be Broader Than Daylight : Story Of Nikita Tomar

21 year old Nikita Tomar, in Faridabad was shot dead, this news when came, came as a shock to all of us and a question to humanity and so much more.

“Your Ego is your soul’s worst enemy”,  are the great words said by Rusty Eric.
Ego is nothing but a way to let oneself fall in deep pit on his own without realising it. Rejections seems intolerable to Ego and hence this battle brews up. One should always take rejections in a good spirit or sportsmanship spirit, but this doesn’t really happen, people don’t embrace rejections or articulate NO as “Next Opportunity” instead their ego gets triggered and hence they end up committing things which they should not have and fall in a trap.
A NO should be embraced and should be taken as an opportunity for improvement or God’s way of saving you from some wrong happening.
A No or a rejection can be from anything be it a job rejection, or your parents saying NO to your unnecessary demands and at last maybe from a person you love says NO to your proposal or some stipulation by you. None of  these give you a license to do wrong against people who said NO. Each one of us has the right to say NO and we don’t always owe an explanation after saying it. Imposing your commands on them is wrong on so many levels and so is harming and hurting anyone.

One such gut-wrenching story that has shook all of us from within is the story of Nikita Tomar.
A 21-year old girl being killed in broad daylight by Touseef outside the college in Faridabad. She was forced to sit inside the car by Touseef and when she resisted the abduction attempt, she was shot dead. These stories doesn’t stop here, another girl an actress named Malvi Malhotra was stabbed a number of times by a man named Yogesh Kumar in Mumbai, the reason behind this cruel act is turning down his marriage proposal.

Each one of us have come across news and read newspaper articles about Acid Attacks on girls just because she rejected a proposal or said NO to a guy and not only these, there is so much more behind the killing or throwing acid on girls and the only reason behind such heinous acts are rejections or something done by girls that has triggered the Ego of the other person.
There is always at least one news in all forms of media of Girls being attacked just because they refused to either say yes to the proposal, some sort of enforced marriage or at times religion conversion for marriage.

Is religion really important for marriage?
Love is said to be the most beautiful thing in this whole wide world, we are surviving, living and celebrating all because of LOVE. Love is the only superpower in the world which can help us overcome any difficulty. Love is what everyone crave for be it human beings or animals. Falling in love with someone is the most pleasing and delightful experience in itself. While being in love one should appreciate and accept the other person with all their flaws and this is what Love is all about, unconditional.
A very sensitive aspect here is; does religion really play a crucial role, while being in love or for marriage? If you love someone so strongly that you want to marry them then you should respect their religion and their views and hence not force them to convert under the name sake of love. For, Love is to set free not bind anyone.
Every once in a while, we all have come across cases where girls are killed/ attacked by acid just because she refused to convert her religion.

Where are we leading as a society? What is happening around the country?
Remember, Ego trip is a journey to nowhere.  This  Fragile Ego of people which gets triggered easily just because someone refuses to convert religion or turn down marriage proposal and hence make them stab or shoot someone. This is not acceptable and we as mankind should amplify our voices against such incidents. Just because she said no or turned down your proposal doesn’t really justify your crime. Girls aren’t bound to suffice male ego.

What is our bit towards stopping such crimes as a part of Society?
We as a society play a huge role. Our reaction towards such crimes matters the most and hence we would be equally responsible for more such incidents happening in the future. It’s our duty to show outrage, protest and raise our voices against such crimes and increase awareness in people about these crimes, but do we really do this? These crimes are just confined to newspapers or do we really show our displeasure and dissent? At times yes, at times no. Some do, others don’t. There can only be a scope of improvement when all of us, people from different age groups, protest against the criminal and the crime.

Most of the time, we blame girls/women for stepping out at night, going alone somewhere, wearing certain clothes, etc. but the picture is different. Crime takes place and is committed irrespective of what a girl is wearing, in the broad daylight or eerie darkness.

How can girls defend themselves?
Girls can protect themselves from such attacks by learning self defence, Martial Arts. Martial Arts should be taught in schools as part of their curriculum and given equal importance as academics. Parents should make sure their daughters learn martial arts and are physically efficient to protect themselves if someone tries to harm them. Girls should also have speed dial contacts in order to inform if they get stuck somewhere. Turning on the GPS of their phones can also prove to be a big help in rescue.

What steps should the government take?
Government should ensure justice to the victims and their families. Justice should not be delayed and these cases should be solved on priority and a brutal punishment such as hanging the culprit. The investigation and decisions for such acts should be accelerated in order to teach lesson to others as well so that they think twice before committing such acts.

Written By – Rituja Roy

Edited By – Priyanka Sukhwani